i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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