She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i drank out of a bidet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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