I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
