i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
