I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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