So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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