Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my vagina is haunted
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
