You're a womanizer and a bitch.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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