k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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