Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
