Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
