Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
