my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
