playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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