3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
