its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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