Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
