i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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