did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
