The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
