Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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