Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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