If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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