we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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