Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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