Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
