Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
