You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
