3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
