I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
