i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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