How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
