thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
