Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
