if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
