i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
