were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
