garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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