that's an acceptable place to lick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
