This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
