I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
