yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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