The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
