I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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