Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
a search helicopter?!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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