Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
