I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
BRING THE BAGELS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
