so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
