Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
