he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
